When Nanda Got Engaged To Manmohan Desai At 53

‘He has worked with Amitabh Bachchan in so many films but it’s always on a one-to-one basis. I admire that.’

Nanda romanced almost every major leading man in several memorable films of the 1960s and 1970s (Hum Dono, Jab Jab Phool Khile, Ittefaq) but her romantic life remained singularly bereft.

Her contemporaries got married but Nanda (along with Asha Parekh) remained pointedly single. Nanda was that unique actress who had not even a whiff of a love affair connected to her name. Here was a beautiful, soft-hearted woman who knew she was exemplary partner material; yet because of some conspiracy of fate, she was resigned to singlehood.

“Zindagi mein ek bahut badi kami hai but, I guess, in life, nobody gets everything,” she had once confided.

Nanda’s relationship status changed dramatically when she was 53 years old. Love blossomed in Nanda’s life even if it was late and albeit for a tragically short timespan.

On June 18, 1992, Nanda created ripples when she got engaged to renowned director Manmohan Desai (Sacha Jhutha, Amar Akbar Anthony, Coolie) in a small ceremony at his son Ketan Desai’s house.

Dinesh Raheja, who was then editing Movie magazine, called up Nanda to congratulate her.

In this throwback interview, she said, ‘I do feel bad I never got married… but pyaar mein maangna padta hai. I played safe. My shyness, my principles and my reading of Ayn Rand novels spoilt my chances.’

The shy Nanda on Manmohan Desai: ‘I don’t know how I will be able to converse with him’

Gone was the subdued star of previous encounters. Nanda was over the moon with happiness. My congratulations elicited a delighted peal of laughter.

‘Thank you, thank you,’ she accepted. ‘I have been busy responding to so many good wishes that I have almost lost my voice. ‘Woh’ aayenge toh I don’t know how I will be able to converse with him. Maybe all I will be able to say is ‘Umm…Hmmm’,’ she giggled.

Nanda got engaged wearing a pretty pink-and-gold Gujarati-style sari but the reclusive actress revealed that she had insisted on not having a grand engagement ceremony. She hadn’t even arranged for photographs to recapture the moment later.

Nanda explained pragmatically, ‘We are not at the age when one should look back. What is the point of looking back now? I just hope that we are able to spend the few years we have left in happiness knowing that we have each other’s companionship. In fact, I didn’t want even the engagement ceremony. I was of the view that since God has brought us together, hum Bhagwan ka naam lekar, ek doosre ko apna maan lete hain.

‘But Manji was of the opinion that he would like my mother to know that there would be somebody who’d take care of me, if God forbid, anything happened to her.’

Nanda on the engagement ceremony: ‘Everything was kept simple, from the ceremony to the diamond ring he gave me’

Nanda emphasised that it was a fuss-free ceremony.

‘Everything was kept simple, from the ceremony to the diamond ring he gave me. Best of all, we didn’t have to arrange for anything. Ketan (Manmohan Desai’s son) told us ‘Kanchan (his wife, who is Geeta Bali and Shammi Kapoor’s daughter) and I will take care of it all. He’s such an excellent boy.

‘Manji loves him dearly but he is not selfish about his father’s affections. Imagine, he told me, “I have never been happier”.’

‘In fact, when Manji‘s house proved to be too small for the ceremony, Ketan insisted it be held at his own home. The dinner too was at home. I insisted on only one thing — I didn’t want champagne or any alcoholic drinks to be served because both our mothers were present. Woh bhi nahin chhahte and I have never touched an alcoholic drink even as medicine.’

Out of the guest list of 40 people, 30 were from the bride’s side.

Nanda elaborated, ‘I have a big family of seven brothers and sisters. From his side there was Shammiji (Kapoor), Yashji (Johar) and Waheeda (Rehman). After all, they were responsible for matchmaking and orchestrating the engagement.  What Nanda liked about Manmohan Desai: ‘He’s everything I’ve always wanted in a man’

In fact, the two friends of Nanda had been matchmaking her with the A-list director for over a decade.

‘Ten years ago, when Waheeda was doing Manji‘s Naseeb, she tried to get us together,’ Nanda narrated.

‘Waheeda always felt ke uski shaadi ho gayi but something was missing because I was still single. But despite everybody’s best efforts, the matchmaking fizzled out. Maybe it was destiny. Perhaps I was too shy.

‘But Manji understood that he’d have to take the initiative when the time was right. He understood that I had to be approached very slowly. Eventually, a few days ago, his family approached us with a formal rishta and then my family went to meet them. This time, God brought us together.’

Nanda’s palpable joy was in sharp contrast to my earlier encounters when the one-time glycerine goddess of eternal weepies like Chhoti Bahen (she essayed the titular role in the 1959 hit) had more than lived up to her appellation.

She had lamented, ‘I do feel bad that I never got married… but pyar mein maangna padta hai. I played safe. My shyness, my principles and my reading of Ayn Rand novels spoilt my chances.’

Fortunately, Manmohan Desai and Nanda bumped into each other once again while both were at the Vaishnodevi shrine. Back in Mumbai, their friends got back into the matchmaking act, and successfully so this time.

‘I’m very, very happy now,’ Nanda reiterated.

‘He’s everything I’ve always wanted in a man. His qualities like his honesty, his bluntness, his sincerity to his profession and his shirking of dikhawa are just what I wanted.

‘I wanted a husband who doesn’t bow down before anyone else. He (Manmohan Desai) has worked with Amitabh Bachchan in so many films but it’s always on a one-to-one basis. I admire that.’

Why Nanda never got married to Manmohan Desai

 

Nanda firmly believed that a principled approach to life was the common ground for the couple.

‘I quit the film industry when I felt industry ko jhukne waale log chahiye. Manji too is like that. We’re so similar. I’m so happy I didn’t have to compromise on my ideals. I’d rather have stayed alone than compromised.’

Poignantly, the wedding date had not been set at that time. Nanda shrugged philosophically, ‘God has streamed our engagement, now God will fix our wedding date too.’

Alas, it was not to be. Manmohan Desai passed away early the next year at the age of 57. A heartbroken Nanda retreated back into her solitary life with friends and family providing her emotional support system. She passed away from a sudden heart attack at the age of 74.

I prefer to remember Nanda for those heady post-engagement days when she was happy and cheerful about the prospect of a well-deserved marital life and companionship in her sunset years. Even if Fate later willed otherwise.

Her engagement to Manmohan Desai resulted in a brief but memorable spring in the autumn of Nanda’s life.